Friday, December 07, 2012

Porn Much?

PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE : RANDOM PCS 2012






From the "Sexy-Coworker You Carpool With" -to- "Nothing Tastes As Good As Sex Feels" -to- "Her Downloading More Porn Than You" -to- "Girlfriends Cheating Behind Your Back". Who you gonna dance with this New Years? Don't be alone. Pickup that phone! Horny Live Girls are all waiting to chat with you! Just 99¢ per minute. Additional charges may apply.

Thursday, December 01, 2011

☐ Holiday Road

PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE : FALL-WINTER 2011






No. Really? Seriously. ANOTHER year? How dare you ask me what I've been doing! What have YOu've been doing–hmm? What's that you say, Lassie? Wha'd I get you for xmas this year? Oh, no please... really. What did you get Me? Before we go on&on about how we don't receive & nuthin's ever fair Bla bla Vla... Is to ask yourself> "Not what others can do for you, but what'chu can do for Others?" So, stop whining like a childish douche. Be a man. Go out there & bitch-slap a happy person!
Here's to the latest 3+1 months of Penthouse Magazine> Dear Scoundrel: From "Rover Like Keep-Watch over 'Doggy Style'" -to- "A Nightmare That is 'Christmas'" -to- "A Halloween Birthday Threesome'Wish" -to- "A Married Chick's Invitation". The rest depends on your action.
Wishing the 99%->an amicable Holiday Season. Let's pray 2012 ENDS this Baloney Crisis Once & For All. Til then, OccupyWalmartShoppers!

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Steve Jobs 1955-2011

BECAUSE YOU ARE FIERCE.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Summer Bites

PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE : JULY 2011



Damn– Is it HOT in here, or is it just Me? God, I Hate Summer with a Passion. If you'd asked me, there is Absolutely nothing enjoyable about summer. Seriously, I really like to know- why do so many chicks & pricks ~Ooze over *Summer* like some Deluxe Menu? The nekkid bods? –pfft. In your dreams! It's Hot. It's Bright. It's Burning. It's Sticky. It's Humid. It's Green. Insects everywhere. Everyone looks like shit. The beach is crowded with even more unsightly organisms. Ketchup doesn't even taste the same. But if you're in for the HOt- Let July Issue of Penthouse magazine sizzle you into Temptation. Hey, we just might enjoy it! What's holding you back anyway?

Sunday, June 19, 2011

☐ W.A.N.T.

WISH LIST No.II

Great! Since it didn't work AT ALL last time, lest try again!
(There's an old saying, "If at first you don't succeed, 'Try & Try Again" –RIGHT? So, Lest TRY again!) Need a reason to give-? Hmm. My birthday's in August =) (yeha?!)

Perfect for Breakfast

SmOkin' Summer Barbecue

Condiments to go with it

Afternoon Tea

...with Chocolate

Backup

For Rainy Days...

...with Family

Lather Up!

Vanity

Call Me

My Injection

Daily Dosage

Tape It Up

For A Drive

Take Me High

...with More Chocolate!


– Is not too much to ask, IS IT?? ;)

Friday, April 15, 2011

Spring Break

PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE : SPRING 2011





Is it me-? OR is this the CRAPPIEST SPRING EVER? Not that I'd ever looked forward to Spring OR Summer, but it's coming weather you like it or not. So, you ready for the sizzling heat? Let the tour guides at Penthouse Magazine warm-you-up with the COOLEST solution> From Gettin' EATEN-ALIVE ONLINE -TO- A GRILL w/OUT SEX -TO- Being RUDE at a NUDE. Trust me, your problems are Far More worse than theirs. Isn't it nice to know some peeps have it SO much easier than you? If these issues don't interest you, perhaps the pussies will. If you're not into either/or - Don't Ask, and We Won't Tell. Don't worry, that unemployment line wraps around the building too! =)

– enjOy f*Ck_U SPRING!

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Casual Killer

PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE : FEBRUARY 2♥11


if I were to say to you
"can you keep a secret...? "
would you know just what to do
or where to keep it?
then I say "i love you"
and foul the situation
"hey girl I thought we were
the right combination".
Don't listen to her. She wants SUM-SUM! & Yeesh, yOu better deliver it.
For it be a dozen red roses or a heart-shape box chocolate. This is serious business when it comes down to Valentines. Although, if you asked "Mee" > I don't want the chocolate boxes & roses. Just send me cash! ColdHardCa$hhh. A.Suit.Case.of.it. LARGE BILLS ONLY -ThanXX!!
"Yeah, Raise your aim. Raise your aim!"

oh and., the pantie's in the mail, baby! =)

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Sexual Healing

PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE : JANUARY 2011



New Year. New outLOOk. Give up that last heartbreak for someone who deserves your love and affection. Whether it's the babysitter, the underground Brazilian belly dancer, or the lady who serves your latte at that macchiato stand. She's your morning navigator! She's your Sexual Healer. Turn your woes into moans, and let the grinding happen down below. Your diagnosis is done! So, pickup your January prescription at your local newsstand; Take two capsules & thank me in the morning!
Your hard copy awaits you : January Issue Penthouse Magazine 2011.
... We got lots to look forward to, don't we darling?

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Candy Cane

PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE : DECEMBER 2010



santa baby,
slip a sable rider under the tree, for me.
been an awful busy girl,
so hurry down the speedway tonight...

a 72 mustang will do, too.
Blood red.
I'll wake up for you dear,
so hurry down the speedway tonight...

think of all the fun I've missed,
with all the freelance gigs.
next year I could be just as crazy,
If you'll check off my Christmas list...

santa baby,
I wanna loft, and really that's not a lot,
i've been an angel all year,
so hurry down the speedway tonight...

santa honey,
there's one thing I really do need,
my daddy to be healthy & free, again
so hurry down the speedway tonight...

santa cutie,
and fill my stocking with a blank check, correct.
sign your 'X' on the line,
and hurry down the speedway tonight...

come and take me out for a ride,
I think I have a helmet you'll like, in lime green
I really do believe in you,
let's see if you believe in me...

santa baby,
forgot to mention one little thing, Wii.
I don't mean w-2.
so hurry down the speedway tonight.

Monday, November 01, 2010

Operators Are Standing By>>>

STORE HOURS: MONDAY-SUNDAY 1:00am to 12:60am


C.O.O.L.R.I.D.E.R. THE ART OF CELIA CALLE BOOK º1
COMPLETE COLLECTIVE WORKS OF 20 YEARS
224 FULL COLOR PAGES > 11" x 11" [HARDCOVER]
PRINTED AND BOUND IN THE U.S.A.
SIGNED
PUBLISHING DATE: 10.2010
SHIPPING DATE: 11.01.2010
ISBN 13: 978-0-9846099-0-1
ISBN 10: 0-9846099-0-3

OR >>> AVAILABLE HERE!

Friday, October 01, 2010

C.O.O.L.R.I.D.E.R.

ART OF CELIA CALLE [BOOKº1]











"Here at last! Here at last! Thank God Almighty, it is Here at last!"
FINALLY a 224 page ART BOOK
[complete selective works from yesteryear to yesterday]
11"X11" Full Color. Hard Cover.
RELEASE DATE: OCTOBER 8-10 at NEW YORK COMIC-CON 2010
New York Javits Convention Center [34th Street /11Avenue]
BOOTH No. 2431
If you're in the tri-state area or at a local pharmacist this weekend - toss that prescription slip out the window along with your doctor! Save your coins for an event no meds can provide. Your cure has arrived. So, leave your homework at home, and your work at work. No drink line here. No wrist bands needed. No following side effects apply.

For those who can't make it to the show, C.O.O.L.R.I.D.E.R. is now available online, Amazon.com & select local shops... possibly on the streets, or in a trash. Where ever it goes - we'll let you know!

Other items at the booth include:
Posters
Prints
Comic books
Greeting cards
& a Smile.
• BYOB

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Madame Xanadu #27 [EXTRA-SENSORY]

DC/VERTIGO COMICS






Written by Matt Wagner
Art by Celia Calle
Cover by Mark Buckingham
Special Thanks to Marely Zarcone
and FashionEdit247 for the beautiful prints!

"a place where nobody dared to go
the love that we came to know
they call it...."♪
Move over Madame Butterfly- Here comes MADAME XANADU!
No worries, you don't have to know the comic book to appreciate Sex, Drugs & Rock-N'Roll! – "LOOK, BUT DON'T TOUCH". Reaow|||
Yes! Finally. Interior art by Me! See, I can do it. Heh, it may not be what you expected, but it's a beginning of a beautiful disaster.

This isn't your grandma's comic book. Think about it. In another 20 years - this may become one of the millionth original copies you wished you'd own. If not, heck. For $3bucks. it's a 24page mini-art collection.
Get your copy OCTOBER 6TH!

"now that I'm here now that you're near...."

Thursday, June 17, 2010

☐ Summer Lovin'

PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE : SUMMER 2010






Is this a draggin' summer or what? Oh right, you euros are enjoying the lick! I mean, Kick! well, for us americanOs - it's time to deal with roommate hunting, big easy weekends, beach parties, and ice cream vans. From the "Chic who's favorite flavor's 'Fat Geezer'", to the "'Singles Only' Beach House Party" (leave your gf at the shore); from the "Not-so-loyal girl, whom you spent the 'Wild Weekend' with", to the "Roommate Finder -turned- into Personal Ad"... It's all here in the Summer issues of Penthouse Magazine! Get your copy & see what they're missing! Til then, GO team Becks! 。x‿x。