† My Wedding.

PHOTO ALBUM

The Bride & Groom

My Bridesmaid

The Best Man & Maid of Honor

The Wedding Planner

& Pastor


And here you thought I didn't believe in Marriage.


Works by Juha Arvid Helminen

☐ Dear Scoundrel

PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE : VARIOUS ISSUE






Summer is finally over – w00t!
It's time to Follow-the-Yellow-Brick-Road & fix that Pothole!
Many may find the blistering cold hard to hold, but for the rest - (you know who you are), you question the origin-of-sex like a whiney little bitch.
From being the "MR.NICE-GUY" to having the "HOTS-for-TEACHER", an unfair "3-SOME" to a girlfriend who wants the "COOL-RIDER"...
Well, let your questions be answered in the monthly "Dear Scoundrel" columns, found in-between the pages of Penthouse magazine, located at your nearest newsstand. Don't just stick your head inside a centerfold - exercise your mind, while you exercise your eye. Little do you'll realize, girls are much easier to please than you think.
... just don't ask for your money back. =)

☐ GAP (PRODUCT) RED™

ARTIST EDITION T-SHIRT COLLECTION

UPDATE: [9.15.09] Selective designs are SOLD OUT.

This isn't happiness to see Me, is it. =D Right. Some of you may not know, but there is a big market for T-shirts out there. So to bring you a diversity in styles, Gap introduced original designs from artists all over, for its fall (PRODUCT) RED Artist Edition T-Shirt collection. Mine (& among other featured artists), is out the month of August (that's to our birthdays, dawg!) =)

To spotlight the new collection, Gap is opening the doors to a pop-up art gallery featuring works of art by the artists in its rotating concept venue in New York. The collection is also available at Gap stores nationwide, with select styles available at gap.com and the Whitney Museum of American Art in New York City. Now through August 30, the Whitney Museum Store will carry five women's and five men's styles. In partnership with (PRODUCT) RED, 50 percent of profits from the sale of Gap (PRODUCT) RED Artist Edition T-Shirts will benefit the Global Fund, to help eliminate AIDS in Africa.

So if you happen to be "In the Neighborhood", or simply want to swim the Atlantic Ocean, be sure to drop by the store or gallery & pick up a T! `=)

Gap Artist T-Shirt Gallery
July 25 – August 10, 2009
Store Hours: Monday-Saturday: 10am-9pm

Sunday: 11am-7pm
680 Fifth Avenue (btwn 53rd/54th Streets)
New York

About (RED)™ and (PRODUCT)RED™
(RED)’s primary objective is to engage the private sector in raising awareness and funds for the Global Fund, to help eliminate AIDS in Africa. Companies whose products take on the (PRODUCT)RED mark contribute a significant percentage of the sales or portion of the profits from that product to the Global Fund to finance AIDS programs in Africa, with an emphasis on the health of women and children. Current partners are: American Express (U.K. only), Apple, Converse, Gap, Emporio Armani, Hallmark, Dell, Windows and Starbucks. Since its launch in the Spring of 2006, more than $130 million has been generated by (RED) for the Global Fund. (RED) money is at work in Swaziland, Rwanda, Ghana and Lesotho. For more information, visit http://www.joinred.com/

About The Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria
Since its creation in 2002, the Global Fund has become the dominant financer of programs to fight AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria, with approved funding of US $15 billion for programs in 140 countries. The Global Fund supports programs based on agreed performance targets and disburses money in response to proven results. At the end of 2008, programs supported by the Global Fund have averted more than 3.5 million deaths by providing AIDS treatment for 2 million people, TB treatment for 4.6 million people, and by the distribution of 70 million insecticide-treated bed nets for the prevention of malaria worldwide. For more information visit http://www.theglobalfund.org.

GAP.com
GAP Inc.

☐ Time to Pretend : Bachelor Par

PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE : JUNE ISSUE





Forget about your mothers & your friends> Here's to the latest editorial opener for Penthouse Magazine (sans the text). It's a 'Stripper Bachelor Party' at a Gulf Resort! Yeah, you're all invited – except you'll have to pick up this JUNE issue to find out where it's all at! You too, can man the island & find some modeLs for wives! =)

☐ Springtime For… ♫

GENEVA SWITZERLAND






Who said I didn't enjoy the "Finer Things" in life? And no - I don't buy them, nor eat them. As a matter fact, I take my devoted time & love to nourish the little fuckers too. From the cliffs of a Swiss mountain, a stretch at a nearby lake, I'd follow an escargot..., I fully acknowledge the difference between Beauty & Boredom (both, a terrible thing to waste).

– wishing everyONe a woNdrous summer... :)

☐ Wish List

A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS...






Yeah Yeah... This has been a 'sick-sad-world' as of late. But, according to Julie Andrews-> Why focus on 'unhappy'? But To> "♪ Simply Remember My Favorite Things... And Then I Don't feeeeeeel... SO Bad..."! ♫
I've recently visited some other people's blogs and noticed they post their "wish list". As if... Firstly, Who cares, right? & 2nd... does anyone ACtUALLY get them these things? Well, whatever that list & wish may be - and who may "GET IT FOR THEM" ... remains a mystery. But i figure, 'Hey, if it works for them, it may work for Me!' - but i'm not holding my breath either (because I'm not dreaming of a prince on white pony - pfft. sorry girls.... don't mean to burst your bubble gum). Aside from that, here is some really sweet designs i've been in possession over for some time. I'd thought it be fun to post it as a "random" thought.... and whoever gifts Me with any of these possessions.. Oh,! ;)

from the collective works of Tobias Wong & one of the many helmets from the Vader Gallery – w00t! ;)

☐ Dear Scoundrel : GONE VEGETARIAN

PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE : APRIL ISSUE



Would you dump your Hot Babe for a Hot Meal? Are you willing to give up all your favorite nourishments for HER nourishment? Which MEAT do you prefer? If your Klondike Bear decided to go strictly vegetarian, and all your hearty dishes was no longer served off the BBQ grill, nor between a bun, but found in the frozen section - would you really settle for an empty bed, in order to keep your tummy fed? In this month's April issue of Penthouse, an enquiry mind wanted to know> "Is your girlfriend of heart-ache worth giving up, simply because you want to gnaw on a spare rib?" Seek the advice in store for you!

– And Now> A Word From Our Sponsor:
'Hey, it could be worse - she could've gone Vegan!' ;)

☐ NIKE

JUST DO IT









I don't just sit around and do nothing. I sit around and do nothing with OTHER people as well! [tho all quite the contrary]. but i DO find myself having nothing relative to post or report here as of late (other than pictures of Swiss Mountains & Ski slopes - none of which you can't find on flickr or google images)., so instead, i thought a few of the many looks for Nike 'Sports Apparel' in recent months would be a nice addition. Yeah yeah.. Nike had a bad reputation on child labor back in the days [Oh, such Hypocrisy this world breeds..] C'mon, they didn't just abuse small children in the far east, they abuse their own newborns back at home as well! Hey, at least they paid up.! So, for all you Kings on Procrastination: Don't just sit around and do nothing. Abuse Yourself Today!

☐ Project [RED]

CENSO(RED)




"Yeah. Thats my c♫L and i can't take it JOSff."
in behalf of Gap Product [RED] 2009--->
wishing everyONe a very RED and SHINING ⊗mas!

☐ Friends with Benefits

PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE : DECEMBER ISSUE



Who says you can't have your cake & eat it too? According to Penthouse- "yOur game, your ruLes." But even they know some rules go by the numbers, it's when people's feelings are involved. No matter how you play it - it's best to be clear about it from the start than to toy with someone's heart. Read how to live the UN-soap opera life & not have to bargain for a bad episode. If you like to Text_for_Sex & find the game of Monopoly too complex - dig no further... chances are, there's a skank right around your corner whose willing to play! Pick up your "Know How" copy in the December Issue of Penthouse Magazine.

☐ LET THE CIRCUS BEGIN!

NOVEMBER 4TH 2008





Support your local Vampire Rights Amendment, and make what matters Most -count! Register To Vote! And, VOTE. See it as an excuse to get off work early, make new friends, or even know what's TRULY behind those curtains! Who knows, the Wizard just MIGHT grant your wish this year. It may not be a fairy tale ending... but to some, it may be just that, a HOPE. Trust me, when real vampires come out at night & take me out for a drive, that's when I'll believe Politics aren't just a bunch of baloney. But for now, we need to get those poor elephants back to where they belong, and have the donkeys kick some asses. Let's give the Ringmaster back to the Democrats!


☆ Support The Vampire Rights Amendment
☆ Register To Vote
☆ Keep it Simple [Wear It!]

☐ 08 : 08 : 08

ON YOUR MARK. . GET SET. .





Yeah, YOU BETTER RUN !

☐ Daydreamer Dialogue

PRECISE HERO : CD ALBUM COVER ART



Daydream much? Snooze No Further! This is your detergent to wash out those heavy stain buildups you've collected over the summer. For a shiny token and a brand new dishwasher - you too can own this "static-free" copy of PreciseHero latest cd compilation [titled: Daydreamer Dialogue] due out this Fall 2008! Music is Nu-Hip / Hop-Gaze / Snooze-Jazz...cos' we should be going nowhere fast!
So, save up those coins & get your jammies dry cleaned! Meantime, be sure to checkout Percise Hero's other tranquil tunes...and DREAM ON! =)
OFFICIAL WEBSITE
MYSPACE MUSIC

☐ Art of the Point Blank

PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE : AUGUST ISSUE




– Trouble meeting women?
"Try this fail-safe method that doesn’t involve you acting like a dick."
Master the techniques of 'playing-it-cOOL vs being TOO COOL', and see how it 'JUST MIGHT WORK' in the angles thru your local coffee stop....
Having said that, here's to a great editorial piece by Russ Meneve in this up-coming August issue [Out on newsstands July 20th]!
SO, bOys, cough up that courage & ask her out already! And GirLs, c'mon... give the bOys a chance: MAKE THEM WORK HARDER! ;)

Brown.Paper.Packages.Tied.Up.With.Strings…

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS:





HOW HAWT IS THIS? [–thanX JOSF!] =]
As if the wealth couldn't make us feel any more less about ourselves. They just had to add these "designer" gas masks to their closet to save their face. ;) But you gotta love these. Altho, had I the luxury to, I wouldn't want one anyway (thatz right, i'd design my own) HA! Eat That, Paris!
[thanks for the Meds. I feel BETTER, already].
designerGASMASKS by Diddo Velema

☐ ON AIR

SIDEBARNATION



Wanna listen to something outside the Circle? Hear Me Now...!
An audio interview with Swain Hunt & Dwight Clark from Sidebar.
We make "The Interview with the Vampire" sound like "The Cat in the Hat". I had so much fun derailing off topic with these two boys from Sidebar. My only regret is, I didn't seem to answer the questions. And if my wisdom made absolutely no sense to you., Not to worry child.. in time, you too shall Cee. Here's to PART I and PART II <– Enjoy! :)

☐ i fell in love with a dead boy

GAY HAPPENS!

__________music: Antony & The Johnsons

☐ Dear Scoundrel…

PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE : MARCH ISSUE

""when the postman don't call on valentine's day
and santa claus don't come on a christmas day
that umbrella won't work on a rainy day
– don't ask me..."♪

WHAT. you think I do PORN on my first issue? I'm not THAT easy.
Here's a "spot" illustration I did for the "Dear Scoundrel" column c/o Penthouse Magazine for the March 2008 issue. Given a few letters to render (& this color scheme to go by), I chose a practical starter>
A young man questioning his pursuit to 'Office Dating' /Just Foolin'Around, (ever encountered one of these and wondered about the aftermath?)
Look for this issue at a newsstand near you, & read all about it! =)

☐ I Pledge Allegiance…

TO THE FLAG



Humans aren't the smartest animals on earth. They are the CRUELEST.
– It doesn't have to be this way. :(
GO ORGANIC TODAY.

☐ Nobody's Perfect

PERFECTION



What a BEAUTIFUL commercial (aired seconds before Superbowl on Sunday). Thank F*ck it wasn't an advertisement for some cheap irrelevant product. Just a bloke spokesperson (Russell Crowe) in the 'Pursuit of Perfection'. If you didn't catch it on HD, surround sound. Here's a secondary grade of it.

☐ XLII 2008

S.U.N.D.A.Y.





17:14 BIG BLUE WINS!

☐ STOCK EXCHANGE IS OPEN AGAIN

SO HERE GOES: COMMENT AWAY!



Mmmkay. Some of you have asked why I no longer allow comments. Well, to be honest, there were several reasons– all far less important to the contrary, but if it helps matter ease, here were the reasons:

10. Didn't think it mattered.
9. 1 Less place to check and expect messages (let alone, disappoint...)
8. Privacy Purpose: the feeling of other people reading into things> more than needed.
7. "Anonymous" posters kinda gives me the creeps.
6. Not fluent in any foreign languages, and will do just about anything (& kill precious time) working out the few sentences that I will never likely use again.
5. Stalking is not an option. It's inevitable.
4. See Reasons number 7 & 8
3. The meaning in the word, "Thank you" becomes bleak.
2. I can't pay you all.
...And the number 1 Reason is, (drum roll)
1. Avoiding the question, "What Have You Been Working On?"
As grateful as I am with this question...
ANSWER: Chances are, I'd post it here [remotely relevant]
Otherwise, What am I working on? (Not only am I haunted by this question from my immediate family on daily basis...)
– You really want to know? A new lipstick color, my resume, the bills, the laundry, the dishes... returning a few phone calls & emails, writing out invoices, downloading music... reading my horoscope, reading your horoscope, checking tomorrow's horoscope, under the classified section, looking for my pencil, walking my dog, off to catch a train, making travel plans, putting on liquid eyeliner, brushing... flossing... changing... cleaning... crime fighting..., and then, more emails...

I don't know about you, but man, all this takes up a lot of time!
– What's that you say, Lassie? Hire a house keeper? Don't I have an assistant? ...where do you think I live? Trump Tower?
ANYWAY, I later learned, by having my box shut, eliminated the chances of getting to know some of YOUR bloggen' and others to share their thoughts and then some... (how so very rude of me).

So here goes> to my fellow comrades, on behalf of myself and future blogging, do accept my apology for dividing our love in silence. I too, hope one day, can find the courage and inspiration to comment away. :)

WISHING EVERYONE A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!

☐ American Virgin : THe FiNAL ROUNd

VERTIGO / DC COMICS : COVER ART

Jan No.23


Dec No.22


Nov No.21


Vertigo Comics American Virgin "Sixty-Nine" SERIES FINALE!...>
Written by Steven T. Seagle. Art by Becky Cloonan & Jim Rugg.
....this may be the eNd of our LOve Affair, but it is FAR frOM OVER!

☐ John Woo's 7 Brothers Vol.2

VIRGIN COMICS : COVER ART

"here we stand
world's apart, hearts broken in two
sleepless nights
losing ground
i'm reaching for you...
feeling that it's gone
can change your mind
if we can't go on
to survive the tide– love divides...♪"

for some reason ^this song pops up in my head everytime i see this drawing (well, that, and the fact i've nothing to really write about here), except from the fantabulous team that brought you the Mega stores- Virgin Comics + joint efforts with filmmaker, John Woo's people, traveling in the speed of cOMics- comes this ongoing series of 7 Brothers (y'know, something i wished i had), & their One & Only baby sister, Rachel (the FIERCEST of'em all, ofcors). together, w/my cover-girl look, was the lucky chosen one to illustrate ISSUE 1. Out on stands September 19th!
so bOys, wrap it up for your girLs - & girLs, read it to your bOys! =)
...now that we've parted, fate will bring us back, i know.

"...how we touched and went our separate ways."

☐ American Virgin : Round II

VERTIGO / DC COMICS : COVER ART

Oct No.20


Sept No.19


Aug No.18


Vertigo Comics American Virgin "Around the World" continues...>
Written by Steven T. Seagle. Art by Becky Cloonan & Jim Rugg.
....you bOys+girLs getting this?

☐ Fantasy Football 2007

ESPN MAGAZINE: SPECIAL EDITION



Editorial piece for Jun-Sept 2007. A class of illustrators were asked to work on a particular section. I got assigned to "Kick actioN!" Adam Vinatieri c/o Indianapolis Colts (page_No.86). Sure, it's not exactly about 'caricatures' - but this was the angle they proposed me- so it's what i got to work with, aNd it's user frieNdLy. Out Now! [on newsstands until Sept 25, 2007]. If you're into American f00tbOL.. or just having a cut of my illo, this is your hardcopy, baby! :)

☐ "Wish You Were Here…"

FL BEACH 2007




Owh, Hawaii is AWESOME! Ever have one of those vacations where you just doN't EVER want to come back? weLL, this ain't one of them. Altho, it's not far from it. – With a whole fresh outlook on Miami and new meaning to Summer... I miss WINTER already.
... wishing you bOys+girLs> oNe safe+CraZy summer! =)

☐ American Virgin

VERTIGO / DC COMICS : COVER ART

Aug No.17


Jul No.16


May No.15


Vertigo Comics American Virgin "Around the World" begins!
Written by Steven T. Seagle. Art by Becky Cloonan & Jim Rugg. >>-issueNo15andON-> ..It's an on-gOing LOve Affair, guys! –w00t! =)
Make sure to pickup a copy for you and for HER.. and for HIM!
Love Letters - optiONaL.

† I Don't Love You…

EVER FELT LIKE MARRYING ANOTHER VIDEO??

my chemical romance

☐ †he Missionary

HOLIDAY 2006







Christmas sure ain't like what it used to be anymore, is it?
Say it isN't So! .......> Where did this year go?!
I remember the time when Chris†mas actually meant something truLy special. Going "Home for the Holidays" was made into such a *grand finale event*... The anticipation of being greeted at the door. The compliments and big presents surprises...wrestling on snowy playgrounds before dawn...whilst the delicious smell of mom's home cooked meal beckons you inside... christmas lights and carol singing, over a warm hot cup of cocoa by the fire...
Oh wait a minute, that was in a movie. Nevermind.
... Have a Happy ~whatever~ Everybody! =)